Starting Over
by ScandalousCastleAnatomy
Summary: It took very few moments after Olivia left the White House, convinced that her Gladiators needed her more than Fitz did, to realize what a mistake she had made. It ends up taking her months to get up the courage to rectify that. All that she's asking for is a chance to start over. (TUMBLR PROMPT)
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! Over the next few weeks (I'll put up something every 2-3 days) I'm going to be moving all of my writing from Tumblr to this fanfic website so that I can have everything in one place. If you've read my work on Tumblr you'll know that I take prompts and then finish them off. So, I'm starting off my transition with one of my favorite prompts from **nikkisshadetree** whose prompt starts out the story in bold. This is a story that currently has a second part and a third in the works so whether you've read it before or not, I would appreciate your feedback on what you would want to see happen with those two knuckleheads known as Olitz. I hope you enjoy.

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**"And, to end tonight's broadcast, we close with footage of President Grant out on - by our count - his fourth date with Madeline Spencer, CEO of..." Olivia let the sound of Kimberly Mitchell drown out as she watched Fitz on the screen escorting Madeline into their vehicle. Her heart constricted in pain, pain brought by Fitz taking charge of his life and putting Olivia's well thought out plan into action...without her, because she picked her gladiators. Because she was scared.**

It took a week of sleepless nights and countless bottles of wine for Olivia to summon the courage to call him and even when she had, the phone sat in her hand for half an hour before she dialed the number and an hour before she pressed send.

With each ring she was reminded of every single time she had chosen someone else, something else, over him. She was reminded of the sacrifices that he'd made for her and the cold shoulder that she had returned to him. The thoughts did nothing to help the constricting pain in her chest but made it the worse that she had experienced since it had made its initial appearance in the Oval Office. She takes another swig from the half empty bottle in front of her, she's long since abandoned glasses when they just seemed to take up time that she could have spent drinking, and moves the phone away from her ear to hang it up when it goes silent.

"Hello?"

His voice is gruff as it makes its way to her and her eyes immediately fill with tears.

"Hello?" He says again, this time, the agitation at the silent caller is clear.

"It's me." Is all she can get out, suddenly overwhelmed with the reality that she could say anything and this time he would hear her.

There's slight shifting on the other side of the line, like he's gathering himself and Olivia almost hangs up, plagued with the thought that he'd taken that girl back to the White House with him. That Madeline Spencer had walked through the Rose Garden hand in hand with him like she used to. That Madeline Spencer had made love to him in all of the places that she had, erasing the memory of her like she'd never been there. It only bothered her because there was nothing wrong with her. She was a perfectly respectable woman with a perfectly respectable career. The only problem was that her name was Madeline Spencer and not Olivia Pope.

"It's me…it's Olivia." She repeats quietly when he doesn't say anything. "You've been all over the news lately."

His end of the line is silent again and she's instantly frightened at the previously unforeseen possibility that he may very well ignore her. She lets out a huge sigh of relief when his voice comes through the line again and although it's exasperated and weary, it caresses her body just like it used to.

"You didn't call me at 2 in the morning to talk about the news." He pauses for a second before continuing, his voice lower than before. "Or maybe you did, it seems like every time I think that I know what you want or what's going on in your head, I'm wrong."

The rising anger in his voice is apparent.

"I deserved that-"

"Yes, you do." He interrupts, the small kindling turning into an all-out raging fire within him. "What you don't deserve is for me to answer your calls like you still matter to me."

Olivia nods her head at that, taking the phone away from her face so that he can't hear sharp intake of breath or sniffling at his words. She deserved them, no doubt about that, but this was never the Fitz that she had known. He had never been callous towards her and he had never sent underhanded jabs her way. She had never been, rightly so, on the receiving end of his wrath. The one time she had been was because she had rigged an election in his name. She could justify that, though. She did it for him. No matter how angry he was at her, she could justify why she had lied to him, gone behind his back, and ultimately betrayed him. What she couldn't justify was why she had left him all alone.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. I just wanted to ask you about how you were doing." She whispers, unsure of the answer that she's going to get from her confession.

"You don't have a right to ask that anymore." Fitz chortles in unamused humor. "Why don't you ask your Gladiators how they are? They're the important ones right?"

Olivia shakes her head, knowing that he can't see her but hoping that her emotions are transparent through the phone. That she'd made a stupid decision. That she regretted walking away every single second since she'd done it. She couldn't do it. She couldn't say it because as much as she wanted Fitz to know how sorry she was, swallowing her pride was a hard thing to do. Admitting she was wrong was even harder.

"Never mind." She mumbles into the phone, ignoring his question. "I'll just go. I shouldn't have called."

Before she can end the call his voice yells out for her.

"Wait." He demands, sounding like he'd run up 10 flights of stairs and still had 10 more to go. "I'm sorry."

His voice is small when it reaches her again and his words do nothing but make her feel more guilty.

"Don't be sorry, I'm sorry."

They sit in silence. Listening to the other breathe. Breathing all of their thoughts into the receiver like they could be translated on the other end.

"You said we could have a life together." He croaks, almost as if he'd been crying while they weren't speaking. "I told you that I wanted to marry you and you said that you could make it happen, that you would fix it so that we could be together for the rest of our lives. You let me believe that were going to be happy together, that you were going to be my first lady and then you left me. You gave me hope and then you walked away."

They're both silent again. Letting his words marinate.

"I didn't want to ruin you. I've already done enough. I just…I'm the person that rigs elections and lies to you about it. I already ruined you. I couldn't let myself do anymore damage."

"That's the problem Olivia. You can't try to fix problems that don't exist and you _can't_ fix people. I'm not ruined. I'm fine but you made it up in your mind that there _could_ be a problem and that you _were_ the problem and you ran. You didn't even give me a choice."

His voice cracks over the word choice causing the levity of hers to weigh heavily over her. She can't refute that though, so she doesn't even try.

"Are you happy with her?" She asks softly, unsure if she really wants the answer. "Are you happy with Meredith?"

He chuckles into the phone and the sound almost brings a smile to her face.

"I know that you know that her name is Madeline." He pauses, giving her a second to contest and when she doesn't he continues. "She's alright. She gets the job done."

And suddenly Olivia is sick to her stomach. She figured they had kissed, maybe some heavy petting was involved but even though her wildest dreams had speculated that they'd slept together, she refused to believe that they were true. That another woman knew what it was like to be underneath him, writhing in ecstasy. That another woman knew all of the ways that his tongue could pleasure her. She also never thought that he would tell her outright.

Her gasp tipped him off to her train of thought and he corrected himself immediately.

"What I meant was that she's okay with a few dates. We decided on ten. The publicity will help her company and, of course, I get the benefit of having my lot of women to choose from when we're done."

"Your lot of women?" Her question is pointed but his reply is simple.

"Yes, my lot of women."

There's a lull in the almost steady conversation that causes him to speak again.

"Livvie?"

Her heart clenches at that. The way that he said her name hadn't changed but it did nothing to quell her every growing fear that he had moved on. He had just said it in so many words, hadn't he?

"I'm still here." She answers, trying her hardest to keep her emotions out of her voice.

"The plan was that I would go on a few dates and then I would let everyone know that I'd fallen in love with my good friend and trusted adviser, right?"

She nods even though he can't see her and he continues without her verbal answer.

"I'm still dating Madeline but we won't be together in a few weeks and if by then you'd like to go on a few dates, I'd be happy to take you on some and then maybe we can make that announcement."

"You want to go on a date?" She asks, her voice colored with shock.

"If you would like to. I fell in love with a woman a few years ago and I can't seem to get her out of my system no matter how hard I try, so if you would like to give us another go, I'm willing to but we have to make a deal."

"What's that?"

"That once we're together, that's it. No more breaking up and fighting over nothing. We start fresh but we'll always love each other so there's no point in acting like we're going to move on with other people. You have to promise that you'll never choose anything else over me, even your job, and I don't think I really have to promise you the same thing since we both know that nothing is more important than you but I will if you need me to." Fitz pauses and then adds an afterthought. "And no lies. We're both completely honest about everything. Even if the truth is the hardest thing that we we'll ever have to tell each other, we still tell it."

She starts nodding again, it's almost constant at this point.

"I can do that." Her voice cracks as she speaks, unprepared for the onslaught of feelings that covered her at his forgiveness.

"Good and then one day you'll be my wife. You will be my first lady and we _will_ be together for the rest of our lives."

She doesn't say anything and instead lets the fairytale of a life that he's imagining take over her brain as well.

"I love you, Fitz." She declares, her voice clear and steady. "I'm in love with you."

And her small admission, although it wasn't exactly a new one, brings a smile to his face.

"So, we're in this together?" He asks, mimicking the tenor of his voice that he used the first time that he had asked her the very same question.

"We're in this together." She answers, a smile taking over her face as well at the familiarity of the conversation.

They soak in the silence left behind by the pleasant turn in their exchange. Breathing each other in. Immersing in the feeling of togetherness after so long.

"Goodnight, Livvie." He finally whispers.

"Goodnight, Mr. President."

And then he's gone. And she's alone. It's a different type of alone, though. A more comforting alone than what she was saturated in just an hour ago.

She gets up from the couch and grabs a fluke, pouring a glass of wine for herself and turning her television back on. Kimberly Mitchell is going on about the presidential romance of Fitzgerald Grant III and Madeline Spencer again but this time Olivia feels hope instead of dread as their appearance is recounted. Her fear and pain has been chased away by his words and forgiveness and she doesn't ever want to hurt or be that scared again.

It was a new world.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia could feel her head starting to pound as the ever present babbling of Kimberly Mitchell played on the television behind her. She was finding it more difficult to concentrate on her work when her work seemed to always be interrupted by her personal life.

"It's only been three weeks and you're already starting to crack." Abby's voice fills the room from the doorway, her tone filled heavily with amusement and sprinkled with disgust.

Just because Olivia did not acknowledge what was going on in her personal life within the four walls of OPA, did not mean that her employees were not indulging in the constant rumor mill that surrounded her newly exposed relationship with the President of the United States. Fitz had waited two weeks after his last public appearance with Madeline Spencer to release a parting statement and then another month before he was seen out with Olivia. However, their precautions still had not quelled the media outburst that Fitz and Olivia had been involved all along causing Olivia's name to headline at the top of every single hour with side eyes and speculation.

Business began to fluctuate at the beginning of the first week with her new found tabloid status, with clients immediately panicking over which of their dirty little secrets could come to light with a different part of her life being highlighted every day. At the end of the second week, only a few were lost and by the third multiple were gained as she firmly stated her confidence in her abilities and assured them of the distinct separation of her work and private life.

Through it all, her staff kept their heads above water. For the most part anyway. Huck began to overextend himself to make sure that the new influx of death threats remained benign. Quinn, although she vehemently denied it, began watching every single step that Olivia took as a precautionary bodyguard. Harrison began watching every single segment that mentioned her name and noted every single article that did the same. He saw it as his job to protect her public integrity. And then there was Abby. She was still her guard dog. She would still follow her boss to the edge of a cliff and jump if she was told but that did not eradicate the part of her that had always hated Republicans or scrub away that part of her being that idolized Olivia and thought her above the clutches of a man like Fitzgerald Grant III. A man that, according to his seemingly very loyal wife, couldn't even keep it in his pants.

Olivia began to lift her head from her hands, her eyes still closed as she turned her face in Abby's direction.

"Do you need something, Abby?" Olivia groaned but the steel behind her words was evident. "Or did you come here to give me more judgmental looks because you disagree with my personal life?"

She could feel the anger and frustration bubbling inside of her at all of the attention she was getting, whether good or bad and Abby wasn't helping at all. Plus, she missed Fitz and was too proud to call him in the middle of the day just to hear his voice. Olivia kept her eyes closed waiting for either the sound of departing footsteps or Abby's backtracking and her real reason for entering her office.

"Sorry…I just…the President is here. In the lobby I mean. He said he's taking you to lunch?"

At that her eyes pop open, her mind immediately jumping to the media coverage that this would receive and the damage control that she would have to do if anyone speculated that his appearance was due to his involvement with her clients and cases. Olivia jumped up from her desk, knocking a few pens to the floor in her haste as she made her way through the main corridor to the small kitchenette that Fitz decided to occupy with his agents scattered throughout the rest of her establishment. Almost as if sensed her presence, he turned as soon as he was in her eyeline, a cup of coffee in his hand and a smile on his face. It only took her moments to come to a stop a few feet away from him. She still wanted to maintain a professional exterior, albeit, in the face of neutral company.

"Fitz, what are you doing here?" Olivia hisses through her teeth while preserving a pleasant smile.

"I'm taking you to lunch."

"We agreed on pre-arranged public outings, _remember_?" The frustration evident in her voice does nothing but make him smirk at her, his lopsided grin only serving as fuel to her simmering fire.

"But it's your _birthday_, _remember_?" Fitz mimics her tone and reaches out to brush a hand along her arm. "Can I get a pass? For today, at least."

He can tell by the clinching of her eyes and fists that he's won. That she would never oppose to him do something for her _today_ of all days. They had not celebrated together the year before, still entangled in the agony and raging anger after the revelation of Defiance and he still felt terrible about it. Olivia was content to let her birthday pass by without any type of recognition simply because no one had ever cared to celebrate it before him. Her father was never around, some teachers made note of it in grade school through song, in college her favorite café would give her a free muffin, Edison was content to follow her instructions to pretend that it did not exist, but Fitz knew that at some point, someone should show her that they cared that she was alive. That they cared about the day that she was born because, selfishly, it meant that they could have her in their lives.

With a roll of her eyes and an overdramatic loll of her head, she turned on her heels to head back to her office, leaving Fitz with a befuddled look on his face before she returned holding her purse and a light jacket and with a few instructions left to her team, she walked shoulder to shoulder with him towards the waiting car outside.

It only took ten minutes to get back to the White House, fifteen to convince her to get on his selected mode a transportation, a helicopter, and the entirety of their two hour flight of Olivia complaining about his fiscal irresponsibility for them to land on the plush grass outside of their lunch destination. It was worth it though. For Fitz to see the astonishment on Olivia's face as he helped her from the aircraft and led her across the expansive lawn through the open glass doors to their waiting table where Olivia's head was turning in every direction to take in the beauty of their dining facilities. They made small talk, sharing the first half of their day and discussing the office politics of OPA when Olivia started her line of questioning, too impatient to be polite any longer.

"What is this place?" Her voice was filled with wonderment as she looked around once more, taking in her surroundings.

"So, you're just going to ignore my question about Gabby?" Fitz chuckles, his voice filled with amusement.

He had been waiting to see how long it was going to take her before she started grilling him on their location.

"Fitz." Olivia exclaims, highly aware that he was avoiding her question purposely.

"It's a beautiful house, isn't it? New but built to last. The ceilings are made from local wood, Vermont pine-"

"We're in Vermont?" She questions in surprise causing Fitz to laugh at her.

He hadn't realized that when and they exited the helicopter and began she pestering him about not knowing where they were that she _really_ did not know where they were. Now he was just waiting to see if she would figure out the rest on her own.

"Yes, Vermont." He bemuses, putting the last of his food in his mouth. "Look over there, it's a fuel stone fireplace. They did that by hand. Don't you love fuel stone fireplaces?"

He could tell that she was getting agitated when she sat down her silverware with food still on her plate and he didn't want to push her too far but he also knew that if he could get her to leave her work without any warning to get on a helicopter to an unknown location for lunch, then she was doing pretty well as far as patience was concerned.

"I _do_ love fuel stone fireplaces but why don't you take a guess at what I don't love?" Olivia asks, her growing exasperation present in her voice.

"Wanna see the upstairs? There's a skylight made of stained glass, designed by this amazing local artist." Fitz continues, shaking his head at Olivia's unanswered question.

"I _don't_ love not knowing where I am or missing work or not knowing what's going on in the world because I don't know where I am and because I'm missing work!"

"The house has orchards, 30 acres and this incredible greenhouse just off the kitchen." Fitz gets up from the table, collecting their plates as he speaks. "You should see the kitchen. It's got these marble countertops that are from a quarry just up the road."

"Stop talking about the house!" Olivia yells from her spot at their small table, her irritation having evolved into anger. "Where are we? Why the hell are we out here in the middle of nowhere?"

She has gotten up from the table now, taking a few steps in his direction since there was such a huge gap in between them. She hadn't meant to yell but the more confused she became by his descriptions, the angrier she became. Why couldn't he just answer her question? The small smirk on his face as he looked at her was not helping either. She could see the love in his eyes as he gazed at her from across the room but there was something else that accompanied it and it did nothing to calm her.

"This house is yours…ours. I had it built for us. When it looked like there was a chance for us, I bought the land and I had it built. I couldn't really be mayor but you can make jam and there are bedrooms for lots of kids." Fitz pauses as he walks closer to her, closing the space between them to look directly into her eyes. "This house is supposed to be you and me raising a family and growing old together."

He can tell that she's shocked by the way that her mouth is gaped open in surprise and her eyes wider than he had ever seen them before. She turns her back to him, taking in the house again like she did when she first walked through the doors. She could practically see their children playing outside on a warm day like the one that they were currently experiencing or roasting marshmallows in the fireplace on days that were the polar opposite. She could see them running up and down the stairs or playing the piano or dancing through the kitchen and it left her flabbergasted. This was their house.

"It's not really ready to live in and it needs a good cleaning but…it's our house, Livvie. I wanted you to see the dream and what better day to bring you than on your birthday."

That was all it took for her to turn around and press her mouth to his trying to convey all of her feelings through a kiss. The love and gratitude and joy that she felt was overwhelming and seeping from her being like she couldn't contain it.

Her hands grazed his shoulders before beginning their journey down his chest while nimbly unbuttoning his shirt and in moments it was being pushed to the floor as he tugged her shirt over her head, their lips breaking for a moment and reattaching with renewed enthusiasm and zeal. Olivia immediately went for his pants, his belt undone and stripped within seconds but she took her time unzipping them.

There was no need to rush. They had time. Time to be together. Time to love each other. Time to stop and smell the roses. She wanted to relish in all of the time that she could. She slowly worked her right hand into the front of his pants. Gripping, tugging, and massaging him through his boxers. Taking her time as she used her hand to jerk him softly, leaving no inch of his length untouched, working him from tip to base without taking him out. She could feel him growing anxious in foresight of her next move as he nips and bites and sucks at her neck, leaving as many marks as he can. Finally at the insistence of his moaning in her ear she pushes his boxers over his hips and guides him to sit in his vacated chair and then backs away.

"What are you doing?" Fitz breathes with his chest heaving and his forehead already lightly sheened with sweat. "Where are you going?"

She shakes her head at him, kicking the heels off of her feet and unbuttoning her pants deliberately slow, putting on a show for him as she stares with a grin her face, lust in her eyes, and her head tilted in seduction. As soon as her pants were puddled at her ankles she took a few steps forward so that her knees were touching his. He was shaking in anticipation as he brought his hand up to finger the edge of panties, which she left on knowing that he would like them, but she still took no pity on him as she moved her hand down to stroke him just once, running her thumb over the tip, smearing precum over his head.

"Are you ready?" Her voice was dripping with sensuality as she spoke, teasing him with her words.

When he failed to answer verbally and all she could get was a mindless nod of his head, she moved to straddle his waist, her legs flanking either side of his. She used her right hand to grip him between his legs and her left to tilt his hand towards her, their eyes locking on an instant. She used his focus to her advantage, letting her tongue slip from her mouth to lick his bottom lip and then slide into his. While she has his attention focused on their dueling tongues, she takes his length and guides him straight to her core, feeling her walls stretch as she slides down into his lap slowly. It was almost torture how slowly she was moving but it was the type of torture that Fitz reveled in. His head was spinning as he licked the inside her mouth, loving the feel of her on top of him.

"Do you even know what you're doing to me?" He groaned into her ear, gripping her hips and moving her up and down on top of him.

All it took was for his voice to pierce the haze that she was in to start winding her hips as he helped her keep her balance on top of him. Their skin was hot, sticking in places where they were flat against each other, sweat beginning to drip between them as they moved together.

He moves her La Perla lace over to give him more room, moaning at the sight of them sticking to her slick skin, his fingers caressing the thick button above the spot where they moved in sync. His mouth is practically glued to her neck, nipping with his teeth, soothing with his tongue, a soft patch skin that kept her moaning and arching hips into his hand. Her arms fly around his shoulders, her mouth right next to his ear as she starts moaning loudly in his ear at the sensations. She almost felt embarrassed at how moist she was sure the inside of his ear was. Her moans, her whimpers, her pleas and heavy breathing went straight into his ear and against his neck letting him know just how good it was, just how much she wanted him, just how much she never wanted him to stop. And then Fitz swiveled his hips, making her throw her head back, her eyes taking in their surroundings for a moment. The sun was a brilliant orange as it set outside of the windows lining the living room and the lawn looked larger as it sank behind it, almost in another world.

And then it hit her. They were making love in the effervescent glow of the setting sun on her birthday in _their_ house. Something that they shared together. Something that they had never had before. Their house. For their children. For them. That was all it took for her to come apart in his arms. Her eyes slammed shut and she could feel herself screaming as she experienced the type of orgasm where everything was black behind her lids and she had to scratch and claw at him to remind herself that she was still alive. To keep her feet grounded while her head soared so far above the clouds that she could feel God. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. Then again, she had never made love with the love of her life in the house that he built for them.

When she finally came back to herself, Fitz' arms were wrapped around her, stroking her body to comfort her as he left feather light kisses around her collarbone.

"Am I allowed to tell you 'happy birthday' now?" He whispers against her neck, trying not to break the thick atmosphere that they had created.

"Thank you." She whispers back, positioning herself to look in his eyes and then motions to the rest of the unexplored house. "Thank you for this."

The smile that he gave her was brilliant like the words that she spoke were everything that he ever wanted to hear.

"You're welcome, Livvie. Happy birthday."


End file.
